How to ask for forgiveness
Olesya stood in the middle of the yard and watched her best friend Vera walk home. Walking alone. Without looking back.
And it all started with an ordinary little thing. Or rather, not a little thing. Olesya told Katya from the parallel class what Vera had told her in secret. About how Vera was afraid of speaking in front of the class. Olesya didn't think it was important. And Katya told Sofia. Sofia told someone else. By lunchtime, the whole school knew about it.
Vera approached Olesya during a break. Her eyes were red.
"You promised. You said I wouldn't tell anyone. How could you?"
"I... I didn't think that... It's true, a small thing..."
"A trifle?!" Vera raised her voice. "It's my secret. And you scattered it around the school like a piece of paper!"
And she left. She just left.
Now Olesya was sitting on a wooden bench in the yard. Everything inside her was constricting and hurting. She wanted to cry. She wanted to crawl under the bench so that no one would see her.
«"I'm a bad friend," she thought. "The worst. Vera won't be my friend anymore.".
Suddenly, a squirrel landed on the armrest of the bench. Small, red-haired, in a pink scarf, with an acorn in its paws.
"Oh, oh, oh," said the squirrel quietly. "Someone here is upset.".
Olesya wiped her eye with her sleeve. Then again. The squirrel didn't disappear.
"I... I'm Solomiyka," the squirrel introduced herself. "And you're Olesya, right?"
— How do you know my name?
"The magpie told me," Solomiyka answered seriously and laughed softly. "I'm kidding. I just know. What happened?"
And then a large, warm owl landed on the lowest branch of a young plum tree growing next to the bench. With light brown feathers, a cream chest, and small round glasses on its beak.
"And this is Sofiyka," Solomiyka added in a whisper. "She's wise. She'll help you.".
"Good evening, Olesya," the owl said softly. "I see it's hard for you. Will you tell me?"
And Olesya told. Everything, as it was. As she promised. As she didn't think. How Vera left. And how she doesn't know what to do now.
Sofiyka listened attentively, without interrupting. Solomiyka quietly clicked her tongue: "Oh...", "Yes-a-ah...", "Hmm...".
When Olesya finished, Sofiyka was silent for a while, and then said:
— Olesya, I want to tell you something. About how to ask for forgiveness. Really. Do you want to listen?
Olesya nodded.
🦉 Lesson from Sofiyka
1. Look into the eyes
When you apologize, look the person in the eye. Not at the floor. Not at the phone. In the eye. This is the hardest part—and it shows that you're serious.
2. Tell me exactly what you did wrong.
Just saying «sorry» isn’t enough. Say something specific like, «I’m sorry I took your book without permission.» Then it becomes clear that you really understand what your mistake was.
3. Without "but"«
If after «sorry» you add «but you yourself…» it’s no longer forgiveness. It’s a new kind of quarrel. Just say «sorry». The rest — later, another time.
"Oh, 'but'," Solomiyka repeated. "And I love that. My mother once told me, 'Solomiyka, you always talk well until you start making excuses.'".
"And I want to apologize," Sofiyka added. "Because it's scary to honestly admit a mistake. That's why "I'm sorry, but..." is hardly an apology.".
Olesya nodded. She already remembered how yesterday, before Vira left, she wanted to say: «Sorry, but it’s not that important…» Thank God, she didn’t.
4. Suggest a fix
Sometimes words are just not enough. If you broke something, help fix it. If you offended someone, ask: «How can I fix it?» Actions are more important than words.
5. Give it time
You won't always be forgiven right away. Sometimes a person needs an hour. A day. A week. That's okay. Don't insist, don't be offended again. Just be there.
6. Forgive yourself too
We all make mistakes. If you sincerely apologized, you've already done the most important thing. Now forgive yourself. Don't carry this guilt for weeks. You're learning.
“What if she still doesn’t forgive me?” Olesya asked quietly.
"Maybe so," Sofiyka answered honestly. "But you will do your part. And then it's her choice. And you know what? The hardest thing is not to get forgiveness. The hardest thing is to ask honestly. And you can do that.".
"I think," Solomiyka added, "Vira will forgive. Friends don't become friends just like that.".
Olesya got up from the bench. She wiped her eyes. Everything inside her still hurt — but not as badly. Now she knew what to do.
"Thank you," she whispered. "I'll go see her tomorrow. In the morning.".
"And we will believe," Solomiyka smiled. "And I will give you an acorn as a gift - for good luck.".
And she handed Olesya her little acorn.
Sofiyka believes in you. And Solomiyka too. 🦉🐿️