How to respect someone else's "no"«
Marko loved to tickle Ivasik. It was their game — Marko would sneak up, Ivasik would scream and laugh, run between the chairs, hide behind the sofa. Then they would switch. It was fun.
But today something went wrong. After the third lap around the room, Ivasik pressed his hands to his sides and said:
"Mark, stop. Stop it. I'm not laughing anymore.".
Marco laughed and reached out to him again: "Come on, we're just playing!"
“No, really. You don’t have to.” “You’re just pretending!” Marco grabbed his side again.
Ivasik jerked back sharply. Silently he picked up his jacket from the floor and left the room. The door closed—quietly, but somehow very seriously.
Marko stood in the middle of the room and blinked. He didn't understand. They were playing. It was their game. Why was Ivasik offended? He sat down on the sofa and pulled his knees to his chest. The room became somehow empty.
"Mark," a quiet, wise voice came from above.
The boy looked up. On the bookshelf sat a small owl in small round glasses. Next to it, on the very edge, balanced a red squirrel in a pink scarf - holding an acorn, as if about to say something important.
— Who are you? — whispered Marko. — I am Owl Sofiyka, — answered the owl. — And this is Solomiyka. We appear when someone doesn't know something yet, but really wants to understand.
"I didn't understand why Ivasik left," Marko said quietly. "That's why we're here," nodded Owl.
"Well, tell me then!" Solomiyka jumped up impatiently. "Because I would have left too if they hadn't listened to me!" Marco looked at her, then back at Sova. "I want to understand. Really." "Then listen," said Sofiyka and adjusted her glasses.
🦉 Lesson from Sofiyka
1. Laughter is not a «yes»
When a person laughs, it doesn't always mean they're feeling good. Sometimes tickling makes them laugh even when they don't want to. The body laughs on its own. Therefore, laughter is not permission to continue. The real permission is words. Or that joyful look when a person stretches out their hands and says, "More!"«
2. «Stop» is no joke
When someone says «stop» or «stop»—even quietly, even once—it’s an important word. It means: I’m not comfortable right now. Such a word cannot be ignored and it cannot be decided for another that he is «just pretending.» No one knows what he feels inside except the person himself.
“Even if she was laughing just now?” Marco asked. “Even then,” Owl confirmed. “Especially then!” Solomiyka added and squeezed the acorn tighter.
3. A boundary is like a fence around a yard
Every person has their own inner courtyard. There are their thoughts, their body, their feelings. No one can enter there without permission — not even their best friend. When Ivasik said «stop,» he simply closed the gate. This is his right. And this must be respected — not because it is «supposed» to be so, but because true friendship is built on what is good for both.
4. Stopping immediately is a strength, not a weakness
Marco thought: if he stops, he will «lose» the game. But in fact, it’s the opposite. The one who knows how to stop when the other asks is the strong one. It means that you hear your friend. That you care more about him than about the game lasting another minute.
"It's hard," Marco admitted. "Yes," Owl agreed. "It's hard to stop in the middle of the fun. But that's what true respect is.".
5. Ask — and everything will become easier
If you're not sure if your friend wants to continue, just ask. "Do you want to play more?" or "Are you okay?" are two short questions that will save you from misunderstandings. Your friend will answer honestly. And then you both know that the game is for both of you, not just one.
"I never asked that," Marco said quietly. "Now you'll know," Owl replied kindly.
6. Apologizing is not shameful.
If you didn't stop in time, you can fix it. Go up, look them in the eye, and say, "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. I'm sorry." A true apology doesn't require a long explanation. It's short and sincere.
— And if he doesn’t want to accept? — Marco was worried. — Then give him some time, — said Owl. — Sometimes a person is offended at first — and that’s normal. Your task is to apologize and wait. No pressure.
7. Your «no» is important too
And one more thing, Mark. This rule works the other way around. If someone ever feels uncomfortable — you — you also have the right to say «stop.» And if they are a true friend, they will stop. Because respecting «no» is a skill that everyone needs.
Marko sat quietly for a long time. Then he stood up. "I want to go to Ivasyk," he said. "We knew," Solomiyka smiled.
Marko went out into the corridor. He found Ivasik by the window, looking out at the yard and silent. “Ivasik,” said Marko. His friend turned around.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. You said stop, and I didn't stop. I'm really sorry.".
Ivasik was silent for a while. Then he shrugged his shoulders — but more softly. — Okay. Just don't do that again. — I won't do it, — Marko promised. — Can I sit next to you? — Can I.
They both sat down by the window. The wind was blowing outside, and the leaves were swirling between the houses. It was quiet—but not empty anymore. And on the windowsill, if you looked closely, you could see a small feather and a tiny acorn.
Sofiyka believes in you. And Solomiyka too. 🦉🐿️